Truth.... so easy, it creates itself

Oct 2

my luck

I hope you never stop saying “I love you” when you are drunk. I love that even if everything you are thinking is nonsense, that you still think about that when you look at me. I hope I am always happy when you are gone. Not gone away, but simply out, like today, enjoying yourself. I hope I never lose the confidence I have that when you come back you’ll be happy to be here, with me, again. I hope you never stop wanting to include me in the things you like to do. I hope I’m always appreciative and gracious

I love how you say “I want to do something nice for you” and how it makes me feel when you take care of me. I hope you can always let me take care of you the same way. I hope that someday, when you realize everything I love about you, and it’s old news, that you’ll still cherish the fact that I do. I hope you never stop trying. I love it when you tell me how you feel, even if I don’t like what you’re saying.

I hope you always think of me like you do right now. When you look at me, you see me as everything great that I want to be. You make me feel so special. I hope I can make you feel the same. I hope you always care enough about my answers to ask questions. I hope you always care enough to answer my questions yourself. I hope you always let me hold you when you need it, and always know that I want to. I love being “in your hands”. I love being in your arms. I love how you hold me. I love being in your heart.

I hope we always have the same priorities in life. I hope the material things never get in the way. I hope our favorite things are always each other. I hope we can always respect each other’s “me” and harvest our “us”. I hope that I get to come home to you every day. I hope you always look forward to me. I hope we can “fight nice”, with the confidence that when it’s going to be ok. I hope it always is. I hope you will always tell me what you want. I hope you’ll always allow me to have my own reactions, by not leaving any details out to protect me. I hope it’s always true.

I love it when you tell me “stories“. I hope you never stop teaching me. I love getting up with you in the morning. I love how you always kiss me before you leave me. I hope you never remove the “I love you” from the goodbyes….. Or the “hellos” for that matter. I hope we say it all the time. I hope I never stop crying when I think of how happy you have made my heart. I hope your family likes me. I hope we can be each other’s family. I hope I can always keep you. I hope that you always share your dreams with me. I hope I can help make some come true.

I hope I always feel relief when you come into a room, because I feel like we can handle whatever happens if we are together. I hope I always feel safe with you. I hope I can always encourage you. I hope the months turn into years. I can’t wait to just keep being with you.

I feel so lucky. Thank you for being so you.

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Aug 18

A girl whom I worked very closely with every day was kidnapped on 8/7/08 and murdered on 8/10/08. I attended her services this past Friday and Saturday. She left Destiny’s Child “#1’s” in the office. The rest of my girls get upset when I play it now, so I brought it home. I like having this little token of my Ashley. This is the 1st song on the CD. We used to skip it in the office cause it made us cry….. now I think I play it for that reason.

You’ll not be forgotten Ash.

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Aug 6

So…..

I guess I went a little nuts with the photos. I apologize to the 6 or 7 people who still “follow” me. I woke up this morning and decided I was inspired to blog. Then I realized I wanted to recap. It seems that I’ve come full circle. I’ve handled the big D that I never thought I would have to handle. I’ve put myself back “out there” in every sense of the word. I’ve filed. I’ve cleaned out. I’ve spent my day in court. I’ve dated. I’ve hung out. I’ve had fun. I’ve made plans. I’ve met someone special. Someone who inspires me. I’ve met someone I love hanging out with and love making love to. I’ve don’t need anyone but myself to be happy but I enjoy him immensly. He’s a wonderful addition to me. I’m in love, again. A healthy, fulfilling, honest, fun, pure, love. I’ll keep it as long as I can.

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